Mountain tops and Hula Hoops...

(Photo is my own)

When last have you been on a mountain top like this one? 

And I don't even mean a physical one. More like a spiritual one. A moment of peace. A moment of rest. A moment of true closeness to God. Oh, how wonderful clear the view is up there! Mountain tops are something special, especially for stressed out moms! On a mountain top your worries are far below. You can hear every sound and God’s voice is so much easier to hear. Not like in the valley where all the hustling and bustling of our daily chores tends to drown out what we so dearly need - REST. I have just been on such a mountain top during a short trip to Germany and back and in my next few posts I will share with you the incredible sights and wonders I have seen. But I also learnt that as beautiful as they are, we do not get to live on mountain tops. Eventually we have to make our way down to the valley and go and take care of our loved ones again. 

Then, on the way down from the mountain top we pick up our “hula hoops”, one by one. There are many hoops in the life of a mother…the wife hoop, the mother hoop, friend hoop and writer hoop, peacemaker and soccer coach hoop, cooking and cleaning hoop and sometimes many others. We usually cannot keep them all going at once, unless of course you are the leader of the local cheer leading squad, which I am NOT. So when I try, out of my own strength, they end up colliding and smash to the ground. Often, there is just not enough of me to go around. Our busy lives are filled with hula hoops, responsibilities, important things that need our attention and often we are frantically trying to keep them in motion. The New Testament story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10 so beautifully shows the difference between a woman who is trying to keep the hoops going and one who dropped them in order to enjoy…

Do you take time to drop your hoops? Do you get up an hour early, before your husband and kids need your attention and spend some time tending to your inner self? I never used to either. Mornings are not my best time. But I have learnt that all the good things in my day flow out of that little moment alone with God. So now, I crawl out of bed if I have to and go and make myself a cup of coffee and then I sit and wait to hear from God. In the past I so often was busy being busy and forgot to tend to my inner self, bouncing off one duty and onto another, always wondering why I was so irritable and miserable. But here’s the thing…unless we find our inner strength, the center of our balance…unless we find God in the midst of it all, we will not be able to keep our hoops going. We make excuses about not having time to spend with God, but the truth is the more hoops we have to handle, the more we need God to help us keep our center. And when He does and we find that much needed balance, all we need to do is keep our bodies still and let the hoops just circle around in a beautiful rhythm of synchronized chaos. But quiet times are crucial! Oh, how I loved those quiet times on the mountain top, but we can have them in the valley too. Little moments with little prayers…while hanging the washing or fetching the kids…”Teach me, Lord. Show me the rhythm of life and be my center today.”

Image courtesy of Akarakingdoms / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why did I write this blog today? I wanted to remind you and myself, that every now and then, we need to completely drop our hoops and spend a tiny mountain top moment with God. I hope you have such a moment now! 

Confessions from a mom who sometimes (still) lacks self-control

I don’t mean to sound like a horrible mom but I do regret the many times I lost my temper with my children…the frights I gave them when, in a brief moment of total lack of self-control, the anger spewed out of me like the eruption of a volcano. I always wished I could have remained calm and yet in the heat of the “stressful parenting moment” I never really managed to. The problem was I did not have enough peace inside of me and with a storm raging in my heart, I had no authority over the storm that was taking place outside of me, the one involving my kids.

Jesus spoke to the storm on the sea with great authority and calmed it in an instant, but Jesus had a supernatural kind of peace that he drew from his relationship with the Father. That’s why he is offering us in John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” He knows that our peace is in jeopardy every day. Especially as moms. He wants us to keep whatever peace we have but he wants us to have more, his kind of peace, the kind of peace that will enable us to speak to any storm with great authority, but with the kind of authority that does not leave us with a troubled heart full of regrets. I could do with that kind of supernatural peace right now. Could you?

Some things motherhood has in common with surfing...

Image courtesy of www.morguefile.com

There’s a movie out in the video shops called “Soul Surfer”. If you haven’t watched it yet, do yourself a favor and watch it! It is the inspiring true story of a teen girl who got her left arm bitten off by a shark, but then, after a period of struggling, bounced back into life and carried on doing what she loved to do, surfing. Like many of us she had to hit rock bottom first, but her faith eventually gave her strength to fight through the difficulties of her recovery. Most importantly it gave her a new perspective. I am all for new perspectives. And I love a good story where God uses our suffering and turns it into something good…it gives me hope that my suffering, my hardships are not in vain either. So, watching this movie, I got a new perspective on motherhood and maybe life in general too.

How not to lose sight of your importance in God's kingdom if you are a stay-at-home mom!

After a few years of being a stay-at-home-mom I hit an all time low. You see, what I did not realize is that joblessness (or in my case motherhood) attacks our confidence and self-esteem, it isolates us and presents a temptation to isolate ourselves even more and worse…it can trigger our worst behaviors, causing us to lash out at those around us. Sound familiar? It can also cause us to doubt God’s involvement and interest in our daily lives and at worst, even make us to doubt His very existence. It did all that to me and I have a hunch that I am not the only mom that walked this destructive path. 

So what are we to do in a moment of utter isolation and unimportance? What if we feel so insignificant that we don’t know our place in God’s kingdom anymore?

How to get your inner "Rubik's Cube" solved...

Do you remember the Rubik’s Cube? That colorful cube that gets all muddled up and then it takes a while to get it straightened out? For some people it can take a very long time, for others it’s done in a few minutes flat. I am glad to declare that I am a Rubik’s Cube in God’s hands and if you choose to follow Him…so are you!

What you can learn from a gastro flu...

 

Image courtesy of www.morguefile.com

Recently I had an “involuntary time of fasting”…in other words I had a nasty bout of gastro flu. I ate almost nothing for 4 days and depleted of strength and lacking any motivation to cook, I opened the fridge...and for a while I just stared at the lavish display of foods. My husband must have felt sorry for me for there was an array of ready-made soups and lovely desserts. But I just stood there, looking at all the delicatessen available and I knew that I couldn’t take any of it in yet. My tummy was still too raw, yet my body so very weak. In that very brief moment I suddenly asked myself: “Is this what God is offering to me?” I stood there and pondered if this was the kind of lavish life that the bible promises to all that follow Jesus, available, satisfying and nourishing – a generous buffet of spiritual joys. Why haven’t I been feasting on it? Have I been suffering from a serious bout of spiritual flu? And where did I get infected? When I asked God these questions in my quiet time, the answers started coming…He spoke to me about moments of irritability and anger that I should and could have controlled, TV shows I should not have watched, gossiping sessions I should not have partaken in and many thoughts and opinions that needed to be renewed. Like a virus, rebellion, self-pity and fear had crept in through a weakened immune system (devoid of enough quiet time with the Lord) and it caused havoc in my soul. I almost noticed too late, I was too busy taking care of too many other things and now depression had crept in and I found myself murmuring and complaining about so many things. Know the feeling? I think us moms are prone to catch a virus now and then. We tend to take care of everybody else and deplete ourselves in the process. Fortunately with the spiritual flu, the recipe for recovery is in the bible. It says that in order to be cleansed from our unrighteousness, we only have to confess our sins. So if you ask God to forgive you, for all the known and unknown sins in your life, it’s kind of like getting a mega dose of spiritual Vitamin C, it’s bound to beat the bug inside of you and any symptoms like guilt and shame will be driven away! Spend a couple of minutes today, confessing whatever sins you can think of and let God’s grace and forgiveness work like a probiotic in your mind! I will certainly do so myself, knowing that God is getting me ready to feast on ALL that He has to offer! 

I wish you a happy and healthy day!

But if you are limping...know that fruit HAPPENS!

I don’t know about you, but I struggle big time. As a mother. My mother struggled big time and I definitely suffer from the “puppy syndrome” (read my blog entry below from 10July). She made so many mistakes and I have been copying them all. But no more. They are not my weaknesses, they are hers. And if I don’t have to copy them, then you don’t have to either. As moms we are always trying to produce, produce a clean home, produce a happy home, produce a child with adequate manners, produce a social circle everyone else will envy us for and most of the time we feel like we failed. But why do we fail? Because we try to produce the fruit of motherhood. But fruit happens. A tree doesn’t strain to produce fruit on its branches. Fruit happens to grow when the branch is connected to the stem and getting enough nourishment and sunlight. And so it is with us. We cannot produce the fruits of motherhood, no matter how much we try. It just happens if you stay connected to the Vine. The bible says that Jesus is the Vine, so all you have to do is stay connected…have your quiet time today…and pretty soon you will have fruit in abundance to share with all those around you. It’s simple, but it is so true! Give it a try. I am wishing you a very fruitful day!!! 

Do not limp just because your mother does!

I recently read a story about a dog that was pregnant and due to have her puppies in about a week. She was out in the yard one afternoon and got in the way of the lawn mower and sadly her two hind legs got cut off. She was rushed to the vet who offered to either sew her up or put her to sleep because of the severity of the injury. Apparently the puppies were fine and could be delivered if she was given a chance to do so. Her owner decided to keep her alive. So the vet sewed her up and over the next week the dog learned to walk. She didn’t seem to worry about he missing hind legs, she just walked by taking two steps in the front and then flipping up her backside, taking two steps again and flipping her backside up again. A week later she gave birth to 6 little puppies who were all in perfect health. She nursed them…then weaned them…and when they learned to walk, they all walked just like her.

A few days later I received an email with some very cute pictures of a chimpanzee who was orphaned and adopted by the Zookeeper’s dog. The dog happened to have puppies at the same time as the chimpanzee joined the family home. What a beautiful sight of the puppies and the chimpanzee cuddling together when sleeping, but a somewhat sad sight to see the chimpanzee on the next picture on all fours, eating from a dog bowl…completely oblivious to the fact that he had hands to eat with!

I cringed, because I knew right away that I was looking at a picture of myself. Lying in bed next to my 7-year-old daughter and glancing at her innocent and beautiful little face, I realize, that for the past 40 years I have been limping…left foot, right foot…completely oblivious to the fact that my “handicaps” were not mine to bear but my mother’s and it is only now and with the help of Jesus and my heavenly Father’s love that I am beginning to understand that I have two healthy hind legs to walk or stand on and arms and hands to put around my children in a loving embrace!

What about you? Have you discovered your hind legs yet? Why don’t you share with me by leaving a comment?

May God give you a week full of little miracles! :)                                        

Image courtesy of www.morguefile.com

A mother's fresh start...

Burnout. Motherhood burnout. Have you ever experienced it? I sure did. Not even three years ago the warning signs came loud and clear. Anger, excessive anger and bitterness. And because of it I behaved quite badly. Not that I would have ever wanted to admit to it. Have you ever blamed your father or your mother for your miserable past or made your husband and your kids responsible for the problems in your stressful everyday life? I did all of that too. Burdened by guilt and shame, I felt like a worm most of my life, unwanted, insignificant and unappreciated. The pain of it all could at times be overwhelming so I tried to prove my worth in order to find favour and feel better about myself. As long as I stayed busy working and achieving many things, I felt good. But when motherhood came my way, boy was I forced into far too many quiet times for my liking! The first couple of years went by and I didn’t mind slowing down the pace a little bit, but as the years have gone by I figured that being at home with little children is kind of like driving a Ferrari...at walking speed for a thousand miles! Now always at home and attempting to be a good wife and mother, feelings of shame and worthlessness, all somehow linked to my childhood, returned in full force. Being a mother reminded me of what I tried to forget, that I was rejected by my father and neglected by my mother and still am. Then, at the height of my frustration, I walked through the dark valley of breast cancer and with the help of doctors and through many quiet times God gently healed me, completely. He is currently restoring my mind, piece by piece...making whole what was shattered in the past and restoring everything that is still broken inside. Having received and believed God’s promises I now slowly understand, that I am no longer a worm, unaware of the beauty inside of me, but about to be transformed into a BUTTERFLY! Throughout this process Jesus was and is my only hope, my example and my strength and on the pages of this blog I would like to make my little contribution, to share with you the incredible pictures God lays on my heart. Pictures that help me understand the difficult moments in life. Perhaps you need some comfort too or just some company for today? Perhaps in this somewhat unconventional way of me sharing some thoughts with you, we could meet Jesus together? Because one thing I know for sure…once you meet Him, everything changes. He gives us comfort and He keeps us company when everyone else fails to show up. So, keep on checking in with me and I will try my best to make you understand, that you are loved and in the Father’s kingdom ALL worms turn into butterflies!

This Scripture was written by David, a man and a warrior, and at the lowest point of my early years of motherhood, it became so very real to me: 

⁶ A hostile world! I call to God,
      I cry to God to help me.
   From his palace he hears my call;
      my cry brings me right into his presence—
      a private audience!

 ^16-19 But me he caught—reached all the way
      from sky to sea; he pulled me out
   of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos,
      the void in which I was drowning.
   They hit me when I was down,
      but God stuck by me.
   He stood me up on a wide-open field;
      I stood there saved—surprised to be loved!
 ^20-24 God made my life complete
      when I placed all the pieces before him.
   When I got my act together,
      he gave me a fresh start.
   Now I'm alert to God's ways;
      I don't take God for granted.
   Every day I review the ways he works;
      I try not to miss a trick.
   I feel put back together,
      and I'm watching my step.
   God rewrote the text of my life
      when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.

(Psalm 18:6,16-24 MSG)

And if he put me back together...then He will do the same for you! 

I wish you a week full of little miracles!