The Journey to the center of Me... - Part 4

WELCOME BACK to Part 4 of my healing journey that I am taking on the fairways of a golf course. David L. Cook in his book titled "Seven Days in UTOPIA, Golf's Sacred Journey" is writing to golf players mostly, but his book has taught me so much about motherhood, that I decided to share some of my thoughts in this series of diary posts. You are most welcome to go back to Part 1, 2 and 3 if you haven't already done so and you will find that I have learnt about giving up control, gaining rhythm and balance and how to paint a picture of what I want my days to be like...all with the help of this book. Today, I want to look at what is more important - tradition or truth? I will spend some time on the putting green, approaching the target. The question might arise in your mind as to what the target is and I hope that by the end of this post I will have answered it adequately.

On Day 4 in the village of Utopia, tradition clashes with truth on the putting green. In my childhood "traditions" have clashed with "truth" quite often too or at least that's what it felt like in my heart. Some "traditions" did not make any sense to me at all and so I very much enjoyed this chapter! I hope that you will enjoy it also.

Tradition...

Truth...?

Traditions are "set ways" and that is not always how we wish things to be. In the book, the farmer (he is the teacher, if you haven't been reading my blogs up until now) makes a very profound statement. He says: "I respect tradition, but I have a passion for truth." Oh, how I can relate to that!! He goes on to explain that tradition seems to generally have a vicious grip on most people and that golf is a game where tradition is sacred too. But the farmer wants the golfer (his student) to come away from the way he has been putting and try something completely new. He wants him to approach the target "face on". Golf is being played sideways on the fairway, but according to the farmer, when it comes to putting, you ought to be looking straight at the target while you are making the putt. But the golfer is nervous. He has never played golf this way before. Traditionally, putting is also done sideways. He tries and he is rather speechless when he succeeds, over and over again. This new method seems so much easier! It is simpler and more successful. But when the farmer challenges him to use this new method in a real tournament, he hesitates. He is suddenly unsure as he is afraid of what people might think of him, if he uses such a revolutionary putting method back home. Mostly, he is afraid that he might be laughed at, but he also realizes that he has become comfortable with tradition and that he has also become somewhat stuck in his "comfort zone". Tradition seems to be a great place to hide. Sometimes we don't want to try something new, because we are so used to the old. The farmer elaborates, that in a game of golf, most of the time the ball is hit "side-on" because it needs to be hit far. Golfers have become so used to standing "side-on" that when they approach the hole, they just carry on that way. They putt, only glancing at the hole, when it might be more beneficial to be standing face-on with both eyes on the target. So the farmer asks the golfer a crucial question: "Is it tradition you seek or truth? Is it excellence or acceptance?" These are two questions I have also faced on multiple occasions in the last few years and my answer is and will always be - truth! In a world that is now so incredibly rushed, we rarely slow down enough to question tradition. Take Father Christmas for example, a long standing tradition and a great photo opportunity for any mom with a cute toddler like mine. (I would like to add that ALL toddlers are cute of course!) But my daughter (now much older and more courageous) was petrified at the age of two of men in red suits and a white beard, so I made a very simple decision - no photos with Father Christmas for her! Tradition vs. truth...I prefer truth and I don't want to force her into anything for the sake of tradition. To make that decision, though, I had to slow down and observe what was actually going on.

Facing my ball with both eyes on the target...

We live in a busy world and even as moms or perhaps especially as moms, we are rushing from appointment to appointment and most of the time we just seem to be glancing at each other "side-ways". New habits, such as social media and cellphones also seem to be starting to have a grip on us, just look at a bunch of teenagers getting together nowadays! You will know what I mean. I believe the new "Word of the Year" among German youngsters is "Smombie" which describes the merger of humans and smartphones, a Smartphone Zombie or Smombie! Can you believe it? We are starting to merge with those things?? And then there's the issue of multi-tasking which we sometimes seem to be taking to an extreme. With the result that I know more women now with anxieties or some kind of stress reactions than women that have inner peace. What a crazy world that we seem to be living in! I have been watching other mothers for quite some time now and I try to learn from those who seem to remain focused despite the mounting pressure in today's world. There seem to be very few moms who get it "right" but those who do, I believe, are the ones that keep their eyes on the target while they are performing their daily tasks and chores. I believe we are moving our kids down a "fairway" every day, but when it comes to putting, at the end of the day, I always hope that there is enough time to be with them "face-on". My aim is to raise my kids to know God. Not only hear of Him, read about Him, but know him. That is my target. Now, I can make a putt with a side-ways approach but it will probably take longer, so what I need to do is spend time with them and with God face-on. Spending loads of time with God is the most beneficial thing I have done in the last couple of years! "Start the day with God, finish the day with God and in-between speak to Him as often as possible" - that is my simple new rule and the result...has already been spectacular! Quiet time with God has already brought an incredible amount of good changes in my life. But my new approach to life is so different from what it used to be and so totally against any traditions in my childhood years that I could not easily share it with others up until now. I come from a country where tradition and acceptance is everything. Daily conversations with God would be frown upon. But tradition is no longer everything to me. Truth is what is beginning to set me free and I love this new kind of freedom!

In the end of the chapter "Tradition vs. Truth" the golfer makes a radical change and breaks with tradition and so did I. I don't glance at God anymore, He is my target! Over 2000 years after Jesus was born, it seems to me that most people have forgotten how to approach the target - with honest conversation and an open heart and mind. Instead God is only glanced at sideways or not at all. The golfer was challenged to start a putting-revolution...the outcome of which you will see when I get to the end of the book. But for today...I intend to start a quiet-time revolution! Join me, if you like, in this new way of living! If, like me, you have spent enough time in the "bunkers" or "sandpits" of life, then reconsider the questions from the beginning of this post one more time: Is it tradition you seek or truth? Acceptance or excellence? From my side I will just add: Is it busyness your heart seeks or quiet time? I would love to hear what you chose in the comments below and I hope you will join me for Part 5 in a couple of weeks. In the meantime, take some time off from the fairway of life and...

...have a happy "quiet time" and a wonder-filled week!

The Journey to the center of Me... - Part 3 (lunchbreak!)

Welcome back to my "Journey to the center of Me"! We are taking a quick pause on my journey this week, somewhat of a "lunch break" per say, to take a look at something very special...

I find that Day 3 in the book was intensely personal and very arty and I am not a very arty person at all. But I have learnt so much from this chapter and they were such crucial lessons, that I would like to point you to someone else, who can tell you a story of his own. It is a beautiful story about who we are and how God is painting the story of our lives and how he can turn us from the picture on the left into the picture just like the one on the right. The person presenting the message is Anthony Noble and though it might not be the most professional video, it is a most beautiful message, presented by one of the most humble servants of God. You can view his YouTube message here:

I can almost guarantee that you will enjoy it!

I hope you will visit again in a couple of weeks, when I continue with Day 4 of my own journey...

HAVE A GREAT WEEK!

The Journey to the center of Me - Part 3

I am fully aware that I might be writing the current posts more for myself than for anyone else, but such is the nature of a diary, isn't it? If you are reading this, I am glad you are joining me for Day 3 on my healing journey (Day 1 and 2 are in the previous posts), a journey that is assisted by the book "Seven Days in UTOPIA, Golf's Sacred Journey" written by David L. Cook, PhD. In the first two days I learnt about finding answers in the right places and the importance of quiet times. I also shared with you that I finally figured out that it is never about what we achieve as a mom but how we achieve it. The next chapter in the book is titled "Signing a Masterpiece".

Please have a look at this picture for a moment...what do you see?

Image courtesy of www.morguefile.com

Do you just see a beautiful landscape or do you see that it is a golf course? And if you see the golf course...do you see the target or do you just see the obstacles, the trees?  The target, by the way is a tiny little flag at the end of the grass strip and sometimes it is very hard to spot! I definitely used to focus on the obstacles of my life, but with the help of this book I finally started to change that.

On "Day 3" in Utopia the golfer learns that in order to be a great player, he must become an artist. He learns that great golf shots start, similar to painting, with a blank canvas and that he must paint the shot with his eyes first, before his body can produce it. He must learn to "see the shot", "feel the shot" and then trust that he will make the right shot from that memory. Golf is a game played to a memory of what you pictured earlier. A golfer usually only glances at the hole, then he looks down and staring at the ball, he swings. He is attempting to move the ball according to the picture that has previously been imprinted in his mind. So it's kind of obvious that the "painting" in his mind is paramount to whether or not his shot will succeed. Our golfer also learns that trees, bunkers and water are not his enemies nor are any other object on the course. Golf players often look upon such objects with fear or disdain and allow them to steal their energy and focus, but they are actually just a part of the course, a part of their perspective and they can be guides that lead them to the target. One particular tree dominates our golfer's landscape and from where he stands, it demands most of his attention because of its imposing size. He realizes, that it takes effort to see beyond it and concludes that this might be why sometimes it is so difficult in golf to even "see" the shot - because the immediate environment very often simply commands attention. The right perspective becomes a key component to his progress now. The farmer teaches him that in order to be an artist and a great golfer, he has to let go of "perfect". This is new, something he has never done before and for some time he struggles. A voice within, somewhat pessimistically keeps reciting all his inabilities and failures to him. But he persists and on "Day 3", assisted by the farmer, he manages to step back into his childhood and finds himself at play, with art as a new companion. It feels right and he finally learns to...see, feel and trust.

My summary of this chapter is of course very abbreviated, but it has lead me to some conclusions of great importance to myself. I believe that we all loved to be artists when we were little, but I wonder how many of us still see themselves as artists now? More importantly it has lead me to ask: Do I have to be an artist to be a good mother and am I creative? Every day in life starts with a "blank canvas", a new morning, and when I used to delve into my days randomly, when I lived them before I even painted them, they hardly ever turned out very well! But, when I started to take quiet times in the mornings, it was as if I was finally taking the time to "see" and "feel" what I wanted my days to be like and that's when things really began to change. I had never learnt to "paint a day with my eye" before. I always just tried to "survive" or "get through" my days. I often traveled from bunker to bunker and have let them steal my energy and focus!! It has never occurred to me to take the time and make a mental picture of the kind of day I wanted to have or of the kind of mother I wanted to be. But I have learnt that "painting my day" during an early morning quiet time has become paramount to my day being successful. I have learnt to paint and play according to what I have painted and it has made such a change!

Image courtesy of www.morguefile.com

Oh, and one more thing! One particular tree dominated the golfer's landscape and demanded most of his attention...remember? I have also encountered such a tree on my journey, but of course it wasn't a real tree, it was my mother. Perhaps some of you can relate? Do you have someone in your life that sometimes commands your attention, a little more than you would like them to? For me, it always took great effort to see beyond my mother, but I realize now that, though I sometimes might have perceived her as my enemy, she never really was. She was and is just a part of my story, part of my perspective on life and she, as well as all other challenges in my life, have just guided me to my target and my target is God. But in order to reach my target I too had to  first find the child within! I had to let go of "perfect" and just like the golfer I had to overcome a pessimistic and critical voice that can still be rather discouraging at times. I have started the journey to the "center of Me" and though my journey is not yet complete, I am much more "at play" now and art is becoming my constant companion, even though it might be my kind of art. My creativity seems to express itself in less "conventional" ways, though I certainly do enjoy a good time of baking. But I also enjoy creating an Instagram or a blog post and through it all I am starting to understand the art of letting go. All of life is starting to feel right when I just let go and "be me", when I see the truth, feel His love and trust that He will always be there with me and all of that starts flowing in my quiet times...

So, Day 3 has come to an end and I look forward to Day 4! I hope you will visit again in a couple of weeks when my 7-day journey continues...

HAVE A GREAT WEEK!

 

The Journey to the center of Me... - Part 2

Welcome back! I hope you liked my last post and are ready to continue my journey with me. Today we are embarking on Day 2 of my "golf-assisted" healing journey...

Image courtesy of morguefile.com

In the fourth chapter of the book, titled "Shadow-casting", the golfer learns the art of fly fishing from the farmer. The whole scene of his first fly fishing experience is played out in great detail for the reader. There is a drama that unfolds between him and the prey and in the end, the fish is exhausted and gives up the battle. His downfall? A totally emotional response made him vulnerable to the trap. Fly fishing is a sport that requires great patience, which is not easy to come by for someone who has always been driven by emotion himself. On this day, the golfer learns that he has played out this kind of battle far too often on the golf course, but usually he was in the role of the fish! Once hooked by emotion, he would battle on to the point of frustration. He had always been driven by the need to deliver a spectacular shot, in front of the spectators and other players, in order to prove that he belonged, but he had a tendency to be impatient and didn't pick his spots well. Fly fishing, however, is all about rhythm, balance and patience and it requires a calm mindset that is focused on the feel of the motion rather than the outcome. For the golfer, a profound transition from "trying" to "letting" takes place in this chapter. He still feels an overwhelming sense of trying to make his first cast perfect, hoping to prove to the farmer that he is a good student, but he realizes that too much "trying" will make you fail. He learns, that in the game of fly fishing "emotion loses" and that he can only win if he stays calm. Though he takes a couple more dives into the river and struggles with the fish for quite some time, he eventually emerges victoriously and ends the day with an experience of a lifetime stored in his heart!

Oh, dear diary! How much of this is true for motherhood! Or at least the way I have experienced it in the past!

Image courtesy of morguefile.com

How many times have I been "baited" and driven by emotion, more often than not, I lost my cool. Then, just like the fish, though usually after an apology, I bolted for cover into my reading chair, licking my wounds, but a little wiser from the battle. Emotions have always made me vulnerable to traps and only too often I have played the role of a fish, when a much better role would have been available to me - the one of the fisherman, patiently waiting to catch the fish. In the first few years of motherhood, much like the golfer, I often found myself driven by the need to deliver a "spectacular shot", proving to other moms or spectators that I was coping, that I was doing ok. But motherhood isn't about scoring, it is all about rhythm, balance and patience and it is an art to keep the balance. It is never about what you achieve as a mom, but always about how you achieve it. I used to be totally outcome based. Is the house tidy, the homework done and dinner cooked? I could only relax when everything on my checklist had been achieved. The way I felt, while I was doing all this was always secondary to me. But that was so wrong! I know that now.

Thanks to this book and my many quiet times, I have now made the transition from "trying" to "letting" and I can feel a profound change in my life. I still have to resist the need to make things perfect, just to prove that I am a worthy mom and of course there are plenty of moments that test my new "skills". Moments that reveal whether I am a fisherman or a fish. There are days where I seem to spend every ounce of my energy on being a good fisherman or mom and then some kind of "explosion" takes me by surprise. In the book the fish suddenly jumped out of the water in a desperate attempt to flee and threw the golfer off balance and into the water. That happens to me too. Usually when I get an unexpected and negative comment by someone very close to me. For example, when my teen decides to have one of those "moods" or when my husband comes home from a very trying day at work and unintentionally just "barks" at me. That kind of unexpected, negative emotion can still throw me off balance and land me in a fairly deep "puddle" of self-pity.

That's when I hear that new gentle voice inside of me whispering: "You dropped your guard, you have to be ready." In life, but especially in motherhood, surprise can give way to emotion and emotion will make you lose your game! Rhythm, balance and patience demand to be practiced continually.

Following my new voice, I have finally learnt that "staying calm" can be done and I have no doubt in my mind that, despite my early battles in motherhood, I will emerge victoriously and with the experience of a lifetime stored in my heart...

If anything I write speaks to you in some way, then join me in a couple of weeks for Day 3...on this course...on the journey to the center of "Me"!

I wish you a fabulous week!

Image courtesy of morguefile.com

The Journey to the center of Me... - Part 1

You can buy this book here!

This is the first part in a series of posts that will take you on a imaginary journey to the center of "me". About two years ago, I took a journey of self-exploration by reading a book titled – "Seven Days in UTOPIA, Golf's Sacred Journey" written by David L. Cook, PhD. This book is about an old man who lived in a simple place but had extraordinary insight and who invested himself in the life of another, a golfer who was lost on his journey. Though I'm no professional golfer, only a mother, I too was lost on my journey and this book was just simply perfect for me! I hope the lessons I took from it will be valuable for you too!

I read the book shortly after what I would call a "total burnout" as a mom, which culminated in a breast cancer diagnosis. Today I am healed in more than one way (physically and emotionally), but I would like to take you back into the midst of the aftermath of my crisis, when I came across Dr Cook's book. At the time I was so confused! I thought I had to be the perfect mom, but somehow, just like the golfer in the book, I had lost my "game". I felt exhausted, inadequate and defeated, when those around me all seemed to be so perfect. Though the book is entirely about a golfer, his burnout and how he overcame it, I managed to draw some really helpful lessons from it about motherhood, all of which became a firm part of my own healing journey. In the next few weeks I would like to share them with you, right here, on my blog.

When I finished the book, I tried to summarize it all into a mission statement for moms and though maybe this belongs at the end of my series of blog posts, I would like to share it with you right at the start of it all. Here's what I concluded from the lessons I learnt from this marvelous book:

Mom, be assured that there is no specific model of success in motherhood, no "right way" of doing it. Each mom must develop her own blueprint for her family and her own style of mothering them. We must have such a conviction for the manner in which we "mother" our kids that there are no cracks in her armor when facing the toughest foe on our journey. I find that the toughest challenge we will face as moms, is not necessarily the many and often repeated problems we will encounter while raising our kids or even the fact that other mothers seem to be doing better than us. Our toughest enemy will be the casual comment offered up by a fellow mother or relative about how we SHOULD be doing it. I don't know how you feel about your mothering style, but I encourage you to find a solid stance and conviction that you ARE A GOOD MOM in your very own way. If you don't believe that already, then I recommend that you take a regular "quiet time" during which you write about it in a diary until you do. Unseen wisdom seems to rise when we write things down and I hope that you will come to learn that you are a good mom. That is not to say that we cannot improve, but you will find out during those quiet times as to when and how. My posts are not here to improve your mothering skills, I wouldn't be qualified to even try. My intention and purpose is only to share what I learnt so that you can also find your "game" - your personal mothering style - and that this will help you cope with anything that is coming your way!

So, let's get started with Day 1 of a 7-day journey to the inside of me...

(The main characters of the book are an old farmer and a professional golfer and their names are not relevant for my blog so I will just refer to them as "the farmer" and "the golfer".)

One of the first chapters of the book is titled "Conviction" and it is all about finding answers in the right places and stripping off excess baggage first. In other words, leaving the many interferences of life behind. Oh yes! Quiet time!! A key ingredient to my own healing! The thing, I thought was impossible to do, more of a luxury, since quiet time seems to be a luxury for every mom, had now become a key element to my own survival. After all I was sick and I needed to heal. Quiet time is definitely what I needed most when I started reading this book and in order to be able to get it, I also needed to strip off excess baggage first. I needed to get rid of "unnecessary commitments" and replace them with little quiet times.

Courtesy of www.morguefile.com

For years I had been looking for someone to give me the answer on how I could be the best mother I so wanted to be. The golfer in the book often felt that in moments where it mattered most, he usually failed. I felt that way too. Usually moments where patience was required. Moments where I had everything but time. The golfer was apparently "overthinking the game" and because of it, he usually lost. Sound familiar? It certainly sounded familiar to me. I am definitely an "over-thinker"! With the result, that in those really busy moments, where multi-tasking was at its highest peak, the first thing I usually lost was - fun. Motherhood should be a journey and we ought to be enjoying the journey, but for me, at that time, it had become nothing but a list of chores. (I wish I knew if you can relate to this!)

The golfer learns, that in order to swing a golf club perfectly, he needs to stop thinking and just enjoy the game. Most players overthink the game, but in order to be really successful he needs to learn to let go of control. He is missing rhythm and balance, because he tries too hard to stay in control. Check, check, check! Yup, that's me! Control freak no. 1 at home. (I might as well be honest here, if I am writing about this!) I always knew that motherhood should be more enjoyable, even or especially in those very tense moments. But I was missing something in order to enjoy myself and now, reading this book, I finally knew - I was missing rhythm and balance. Something that you don't easily gain when you are too busy trying to stay in control. Learning to give up control is what I also had to do on Day 1...but how??

Too much stress?

Giving up control over my "to do list" in favor of time-out or a "quiet time" is something I never dared doing before. It is pretty clear to me that my kids often won't stop fighting or having a go at each other until I give them a "time out". But it was never clear to me that I needed such a "time out" too! How often did I struggle with my chores rather than taking a rest?!?

On this metaphorical Day 1 on the journey to the inside of me, I learnt from a fictitious professional golfer, that rhythm and balance would be key words in correcting my mothering skills. In the past, I had been listening to far too many people and tried to copy them far too many times. I have restricted myself in so many ways by trying to do things the way they do. I believe that rhythm can maybe be learnt from someone else, but real balance can only be gained by listening to one's own voice. The key to hearing one's own voice will, however, and can only be - quiet times! In those first few quiet times I have discovered a different voice, a new voice with a new angle. A new coach, teaching me my very own "swing". 

At the end of the chapter, the farmer asked the golfer if he ever slowed down to just think and I would like to ask you the same question now. Do you ever slow down...? Do you ever just think...? Feel free to leave me a comment below! I would love to hear from my readers about how you experience the "speed of life" and whether or not you are coping with it!

In conclusion, the farmer suggests that true healing takes time. Time to contemplate, time to listen to the learning, so that change can take place. I have taken a lot of time and I have learnt that I must clear my mind of other women's mothering styles. Just like the golfer, I must stop trying to copy someone else's game and find my own.

I have begun my journey to the center of me...if you can relate to my journey, then stay with me! If you liked this post, please leave me a comment and I hope you will check back in a couple of weeks when I continue the journey with the help of - "Seven Days in Utopia, Golf's Sacred Journey"!  

HAVE A GREAT GOLFING AND MOTHERING WEEK!

Courtesy of www.morguefile.com

My FIRST YouTube video!!!

I have been absent for quite some time from my blog and if you have read my previous post on surfing, you might rightfully think that this must be a "flat-water curse" or a "drought". But it is neither! Granted, it was a very long wait until I am finally writing again, but I do hope that the wait was well worth it. Rest assured, that my absence was not caused by a sudden lack of interest in my readers, quite the opposite! I have created a YouTube video on how to..."Survive your fear!".

This video is a personal testimony of mine and explains, with the help of the movie "Life of Pi", how I survived and faced fear after I received a massively scary medical diagnosis. It is not a professional video and therefore, from a seasoned YouTuber's point of view, perhaps full of flaws. But it is my humble attempt at explaining, how I made it through cancer treatments, despite the fear that accompanied me. I made it and so can you! That's the basic idea of the video and it doesn't really matter what the cause is for your fear. "Life of Pi" has inspired me in a tremendous way to make a new start. I have now washed up on my "Mexican shore" and I am ready to start a new life, a life with more love and no fear. Are you?

If the answer to that question is - yes! - then you might like to watch my video, the link is here:

Survive your fear!

Or if you prefer to read, you can view it here:

"Surviving FEAR" - a personal story of victory...

I hope you will watch it and you will find it to be inspiring!

I will try to follow it up in the next few weeks with a series of blogs that will be titled - "The Journey to the Center of Me".

As you might guess, the title of this series is based on the movie "Journey to the Center of the Earth" which is an adventurous story of a fantastical journey to the center of the Earth, involving much action and a rescue. The heroes of the story discover that the center of the Earth is a completely separate world contained within the Earth. 

You could say that in the last few years, I have been on a fantastical journey to the center of "me", discovering a whole other world in there too and witnessing much action and a rescue! Today I am healed, in more ways than one, and I would love to share some of the astonishing truths that I have found. Interested? Then come back soon!

Have a wonder-filled week!

More things motherhood has in common with surfing...

In my post titled "Some things motherhood has in common with surfing..." I have previously compared motherhood to surfing and if you haven't read it yet, you can just click on the link and read it. I wrote that post after I watched the movie "Soul Surfer" and perhaps You know, that I like to draw practical life lessons from movies.  In this movie, Bethany, the one-armed lead actress, painstakingly needed to learn to surf again and I felt, that this applied to me too. Now a mother and somewhat one-armed (with a baby seemingly permanently attached to my left hip) I needed to learn to live life again. A new life, less affected by my somewhat troubled childhood.

But yesterday, I watched a different kind of surfer movie called "Surfer, Dude" a 2008 American comedy film starring Matthew McConaughey in the role of a world class surfer. The movie consisted a great deal of them smoking "grass" and that might be a little off putting for some, but when you have a teenager at home, smoking a joint to escape the stress of raising him, suddenly seems so much more appealing (I am just kidding!!!). No, seriously, despite the high level of drug consumption, there were some things that I liked very much about the movie and I would like to ponder over them for a moment and share them with you.

The plot of the movie followed the surfers through a "flat-water curse", a very long period of time without waves. In other words, a total lack of action, which is devastating for dedicated surfers of course! For more than two months there were no waves. None, not even one! Such a long period of time is considered a "drought" and they even attempted to "break" it by fasting and meditating, but sadly to no avail. There was nothing else for them to do than to WAIT. All surfers know that they can't MAKE waves. All they can do is hang out together and wait and be ready to get down to the beach at the slightest feel of a breeze! As a matter of fact, surfers seem to spend an obscene amount of time waiting. Even in times of good surfing, in-between the waves they relax and wait, chat to each other and soak up the scenery, always ready on a somewhat subconscious level to get back into action and paddle like mad at the sight of another wave.

Wow! I can relate to that as a mom! 

How often have I felt, as a mother, that I lacked opportunity - a wave! I used to love being busy and ever so "efficient" before I had kids and now, being a mom, it often seems like I spend my life waiting. Waiting for them to finally go to sleep or to wake up, to get over the flu or to stop crying, to finish their plate of food or to come out of school, it seems I am always WAITING!! It's not that I do not enjoy these moments or do not enjoy being a mom, but I crave some kind of opportunity to shine, to prove that I can still do more. I crave a wave! Don't you sometimes crave one too? 

However, especially when my kids were small, there were no such opportunities, NONE. What was a drought of waves for the surfers, certainly was a drought of opportunities to me and I didn't always understand why. Occasionally I even tried to make something happen, make a wave of my own. But those were short-lived and somewhat futile efforts. Why? Well, having watched the movie, I finally get it. 

I believe opportunities, just like waves, come our way. We cannot make them but we can see them for what they really are - a gift from God, just meant to be enjoyed. Sometimes we are too late to catch one and we enviously watch someone else take it, but sometimes there are just none where we are. Especially as moms, we can't leave and go search for them, but we can wait and be ready to ride when they finally do come our way again. There was a purpose for the drought in this movie and there might be a purpose for the drought in your life. I have certainly discovered mine.

I needed to learn to relax more and wait...be ready, yes...but wait and wait with a good attitude. I have learnt to appreciate my time with God while I am waiting and the moments I get with my fellow surfers, other moms. There is absolutely no point in stressing over a lack of waves and very much the same way there is no point to stress or complain over a lack of opportunity. Opportunities do and will come, at the right time, the only question might be - are you ready to ride?

I have decided I want to live life the way surfers do...always on standby, ready to enjoy the gifts I am given by God and enjoy the beach with or without waves! I am blessed enough to live near a beach and there is so much more I can learn from the ocean, but as for today, well today, I just want to reach out to you and encourage you to enjoy waiting, alone or together and find comfort in these words:

"And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others." 2 Cor 9:8 (NLT)

Spend time with Him and you will have all you need! What a promise!

I took this picture just the other day and now I know why! Isn't it perfect? But if none of the above makes any sense to you and you got some time to spare today...share a moment with another mom or just go and take out the DVD of "Surfer, Dude" and I hope you enjoy watching it. HAVE A GREAT DAY!

(Photo is my own.)